Red vs Blue episode 101: Kick the Can
by Uchiha-Hiei
Summary: This my own custom written Red vs Blue fanfiction. I would just like to say the characters belong to roosterteeth not me. I rated it T because of swearing.


**Red vs Blue episode 101: Kick the Can**

Sarge: Alright dirtbags listen up. Command has decided to send us to a new place to fight those dirty blues, who are ironically moving to the same place.  
Griff: Figures  
Sarge: Quiet dirtbag. Now as I was saying this new place is called sandtrap. There are two bases. One is a ship very similar to the one that landed here a while back and the other is a crashed alien ship. We will be moving into the first ship. Now start packing the ship to take us there will be here in 2 hours, which unfortunately we will have to share with the blues.  
cut to blue base where Church has just finished explaining the same thing  
Caboose: Church why are we moving again?  
Church: How the hell should I know dumbass, but I mean really think about it do you really want to stay here.  
Caboose: …Maybe.  
Church: Just shut up and start packing.  
two hours later  
The ship lands in the center of the canyon and the Reds and Blues go and load it up  
Sarge: Well that's the last of it.  
Church: Good now lets go in walks in  
the rest of the reds and blues go in  
inside the ship  
Caboose: This place reminds me of Sheila. Poor Sheila.  
Church: Well we might as well make the most of this trip.  
silence  
Griff: So anyone see any good moves?  
Everyone: No!  
Tucker: Okay well as fun as this is I'm going to take a look around. begins to walk away  
Sister: Ooo can I come goes to catch up.  
Tucker: Sure that's fine.  
they walk away  
Donut: Hey everybody I've got an idea.  
silence  
Donut: Um hello I said I've got an idea.  
Griff: We know we heard you we're just ignoring you.  
Donut: Aww come on it's a good one.  
Simmons: Fine what is it?  
Donut: Lets play kick the can.  
Sarge: Wow that's actually a good idea.  
Church: I know but Donut said it.  
Doc: Well lets play. Anyone got a can?  
Griff: I do. holds up Lopez's head  
Lopez: Lopez speaks Spanish I am not a can.  


Church: Okay we got a can so who's it first?  
Everyone: Not it.  
Tucker and Sister come back  
Tucker: Hey guys what's up?  
Church: Hey Tucker perfect timing. We've decided to play kick the can. Now you and sister can decide which of you is it.  
everybody leaves  
Sister: Well see ya. begins to walk away  
Tucker: Hey why am I it.  
Sister: Uh duh. Because I'm colorblind.  
Tucker: Oh yeah  
Sister goes and hides  
Tucker is waiting by Lopez's head  
cut to Church hiding with Caboose following him  
Church: Stop following me you dumbass.  
Caboose: But I don't want to be alone.  
Church begins to walk away but Caboose continues to follow  
Church: What part of go away didn't you get.  
Church sees Tucker standing by Lopez's head  
Church: Hey Caboose want to help me with something.  
Caboose: Sure Church.  
Church: Okay I need you to run out there and get Tucker's attention so I can kick the can.  
Caboose: Okay.  
Caboose runs out in front of Tucker while Church sneaks around behind him  
Tucker: Church right behind me.  
Church: What the fuck how did you know it was me?  
Tucker: Your not that sneaky Church. Caboose behind the crate.  
Caboose: Darn  
cut to Simmons and Sarge hiding  
Sarge: Alright Simmons here's the plan. You will go out and push a crate in front of Tucker. He'll be so surprised it'll give me time to kick the can.  
Simmons: Excellent plan sir.  
Sarge: Thank you Simmons.  
Tucker: Sarge and Simmons behind the upstairs walls, on the blue side.  
Sarge: Damn it he must have developed some kind of mutant telepathy power.  
Tucker: No you guys just left your mics on again.  
Sarge: Damn it Simmons I thought I told you to do a check on radio activity.  
Simmons: I did but you never asked me what I found.  
Sarge: angry grunts  
cut to Griff and Donut hiding  
Griff: snoring  
Donut: Come on Griff wake up. Don't you want to win?  


Griff: Look Donut I only agreed to play so that I could get away from Sarge and take a nap.  
Donut: Well fine I'm going to go out there and kick that can.  
Donut leaves  
Tucker: Donut on the crate  
Donut: Fuck!  
Griff: Finally some peace and quiet. falls asleep  
cut to Tucker  
Tucker: Man I'm better at this than I- Lopez's head goes flying with Lopez screaming in Spanish-thought. What the fuck just happened?  
Voice: Hello cockbites. Tex appears

Episode Ends


End file.
